A cliché question that regularly does the rounds is “what did you want to be when you grew up?” A long time ago in a playground far, far away I dreamed of being…an adult. Not an astronaut or a policeman but an adult. As a child, I found myself surrounded daily by these fascinating, confident people who seemed absorbed in conversations I was never fully allowed to enter into. I was curious to understand why the joke was so funny, what happened downstairs when I had to go to bed early and why no post ever arrived addressed to me when I had written to Santa God only knows how many times. I mean, at least the tooth fairy would drop some money off every now and then.

Prior to the horrors of high school and puberty, I was sure that growing up would be a doddle. Here is my checklist before age 11:

  • I over-achieved in school
  • Performed alongside the most arrhythmic keyboard group ever in a performance of My Heart Will Go On
  • Was the lead in school plays (albeit on a less than James Cameron budget)
  • Spent entire summers exploring dodgy warehouses with my equally dodgy older brother and knackered BMX
  • And, still found the time to become a shut-in playing Final Fantasy 7 on a PlayStation that only worked if you put it on its side and sellotaped the lid down

I can safely say I was probably a know-it-all brat – confirmed by my older brothers – but to this day I have never felt as happy and comfortable in my own skin as I did then. In hindsight, I should never have wanted to rush to grow up. Okay, so I can join in on those adult conversations now. I can sit around and talk about sex, drink booze and make my own decisions about what to wear (no more shell suits, Mom!) and what to eat (so long Kwik Save oven chips!).

The sad thing is, in maturing to adulthood, we’ve all lost the creativity and mischief of our former selves, for fun is not as readily apparent in a world where you need to take care of yourself or nobody else will. The responsibilities our family used to take care of when we were young are now ours to bear. We must buy our own shopping, pay rent and maintain a job to pay off loans and mortgages with no equal responsibility to let loose and be silly – without the aid of alcohol, I should add.  Kids’ fantasies are set by the limits of their imagination; adults’ fantasies are set by the limits of their purse strings. Whether they can truly unwind (read: get hammered) also depends on if they’re working tomorrow or not.

I remember a time when I would scream to the top of my lungs in the street if I felt like it. I remember a time when getting a pair of trainers with lights that flashed as you stepped down on the floor was the best present in the world. Life can be full of surprises if we just surrender to it utterly as children do.

Granted, it is easy to reflect on childhood when you are no longer living it every day. Life is tailor-made for adults and it is hard to be a child knowing you don’t quite fit the mould just yet. Other than that, I’d love to be a kid again for a day, except this time, when asked, I wouldn’t say I wanted to grow up to be an adult – I’d say I didn’t want to grow up at all.

What Did You Want To Be When You Grew Up?

A cliché question that regularly does the rounds is “what did you want to be when you grew up?” A long time ago in a playground far, far away I dreamed of being…an adult. Not an astronaut or a policeman but an adult. As a child, I found myself surrounded daily by these fascinating, confident people who seemed absorbed in conversations I was never fully allowed to enter into. I was curious to understand why the joke was so funny, what happened downstairs when I had to go to bed early and why no post ever arrived addressed to me when I had written to Santa god only knows how many times. I mean, at least the tooth fairy would drop some money off every now and then.

Prior to the horrors of high school and puberty, I was sure that growing up would be a doddle. Here is my checklist before age 11:

  • I over-achieved in school
  • Performed alongside the most arrhythmic keyboard group ever in a version of My Heart Will Go On
  • Was the lead in school plays (albeit on a less-than-James-Cameron-budget)
  • Spent entire summers exploring dodgy warehouses with my equally dodgy older brother and knackered BMX
  • And, I still found the time to become a shut-in playing Final Fantasy 7 on a Playstation that only worked if you put it on its side and cellotaped the lid down

I can safely say I was an over-achieving know-it-all, but to this day I have never felt as happy and comfortable in my own skin as I did then. In hindsight, I should never have wanted to rush to grow up. Okay, so I can join in on those adult conversations now. I can sit around and talk about sex, drink booze and make my own decisions about what to wear (no more Shell Suits, Mom!) and what to eat (so long Kwik Save oven chips!).

The sad thing is, in maturing to adulthood, we’ve all lost the creativity and mischief of our former selves, for fun is not as readily apparent in a world where you need to take care of yourself or nobody else will. The responsibilities our family used to take care of when we were young are now ours to bear. We must buy our own shopping, pay rent and maintain a job to pay off loans and mortgages with no equal responsibility to let loose and be silly – without the aid of alcohol, I should add. Kids’ fantasies are set by the limits of their imagination; adults’ fantasies are set by the limits of their purse strings. Whether they can truly unwind (read: get hammered) also depends on if they’re working tomorrow or not.

I remember a time when I would scream to the top of my lungs in the street if I felt like it. I remember a time when getting a pair of trainers with lights that flashed as you stepped down on the floor was the best present in the world. Life can be full of surprises if we just surrender to it utterly as children do.

Granted, it is easy to reflect on childhood when you are no longer living it every day. Life is tailor-made for adults and it is hard to be a child knowing you don’t quite fit the mould just yet. Other than that, I’d love to be a kid again for a day, except this time, when asked, I wouldn’t say I wanted to grow up to be an adult – I’d say I didn’t want to grow up at all.